Posts

Showing posts from February, 2013

Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

Being comfortable in your own skin means to be satisfied with yourself. Often, in American culture, and certainly for women, this is interpreted in terms of appearance. However, true satisfaction and self esteem reflect your ability to cope with whatever challenges life has for you. Being "comfortable in your own skin" means to have self-confidence and inner peace. People who are centered like this do not need to make Google+ or Facebook posts about "me-me-me" and then wait for the inevitable adulation of +1's and comments from the peanut gallery of followers that they have developed in order to feel good about themselves. Read the following quote from a woman who finally found this out: "From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them.  Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself. As I f

On Social Media

I find it disturbing that someone could let social media control their life to the point where it becomes so intolerable for them that they feel compelled to delete their entire profile and all of their content. But I just saw it happen to somebody whom I had regarded as a good friend. Google+ and other social media sites are tools. Used carefully and correctly, they can help you to build rewarding, meaningful relationships with real people, even though you are participating in a "virtual" world. Used improperly, they can make your life completely miserable and make you feel powerless to control your life and your destiny. When you have reached the point where you feel compelled to delete yourself and your online presence, you aren't just getting rid of the "bad" - you're throwing away all the good, too.  In other words, you may have sequestered yourself, but that doesn’t solve your problem, because all the personal issues that caused you to take this dr

Friendship, Intimacy and Cyber-Sex

Image
Not all or even most friendships need to fit all of the boxes (personal, professional, emotional, intellectual). But the best friendships — the intimate ones — do, especially both the emotional and intellectual areas. What do I mean by "intimacy"? Intimacy is a concept that is not exclusive to romance. It's also a potential descriptor of high-wattage interactions, feelings, and trust between two platonic friends. In a romantic relationship intimacy can be conveyed via physical contact — just snuggle up with her/him. In a platonic friendship intimacy must be expressed mostly via words and body language. So it can be hard to pin down in a friendship. Here's one possible sign of intimacy: When you're interacting with this friend, does your best and most natural self come out? Does being the person you want to be become effortless?  Do you feel a sense of trust and being able to confide in this person? Intimacy in friendships is one of those things

Sexual Snark in Social Media Sites

I see a number of obviously married women (and some men) who post the kind of immature sexual-innuendo-laden silliness posts that if their spouses could read their posts, it would never have been posted. Of course if both spouses have an account and they can laugh about it, that's different. But I bet in a lot of cases these are just people who are unhappy in their marriages and are using G+ as a kind of sexual escape from that. The ones who have happy marriages you usually don't see doing this because they are busy enjoying the company of their spouse. I note this as a person who was once happily married and is now single. I don't want to speak in absolutes, but you can see this kind of stuff and i find it a little annoying, especially from married women. There are even these "eCard" sites that seem to capitalize on this quasi-sexual snarkyness. I must see a half dozen people i follow doing this, primarily women. If you are bored  and don’t have social contact