2/28/2013

Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

Being comfortable in your own skin means to be satisfied with yourself. Often, in American culture, and certainly for women, this is interpreted in terms of appearance. However, true satisfaction and self esteem reflect your ability to cope with whatever challenges life has for you.
Being "comfortable in your own skin" means to have self-confidence and inner peace. People who are centered like this do not need to make Google+ or Facebook posts about "me-me-me" and then wait for the inevitable adulation of +1's and comments from the peanut gallery of followers that they have developed in order to feel good about themselves.
Read the following quote from a woman who finally found this out:
"From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them.  Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.
As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me.  If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.
One day, I took another long look in the mirror, and suddenly something clicked: My looks were not the problem—they never were.
Somehow I understood that what I didn’t like about my face had nothing to do with my physical features. It was something else; something within myself that was reflecting out and causing me to feel unattractive, ill at ease, and unconfident.
At that moment, I knew there were two things I needed to do. The first was to stop staring in the mirror. The second was to look at what was going on inside."
You can easily tell if someone is not "comfortable in their own skin" on Google+. Typically they only post to a limited circle of followers (for women - it's usually a circle composed mostly of men). Their posts mostly seem to be self-centered and designed to attract adulation in the form of positive comments or +1s. They rarely follow other people's conversations or participate in same. And most of their interchange with others is  on a superficial "ha ha funny" type level. Their posts often are laced with obvious sexual innuendo.
People with low self-esteem often get involved in relationships with the liars, trusting the backstabbers, and loving the heart breakers.  And when they fall in love, its often with someone who wants to play with their heart, not someone who deserves it.